KURT COBAIN // 20 YEARS

This last Saturday (5/4/14) marked 20 years since Kurt Cobain died, aged just 27. 

To think that 20 years have passed by seems crazy, especially when you think 

about how much times have changed and evolved since then.

Obviously being born in 1996 means that I wasn't around in Nirvana's hey day 

nor was I around when Kurt died, yet to say that as a teenager a decade and a half

later I have been just as affected and moved by their music as any teenager in the 90's

and early 00's, as well as inspired by Kurt in particular is pretty remarkable.

It's also a testament to what Kurt achieved in his short time on this Earth and his

incredible legacy.

For me it was a couple of years ago that I really discovered Nirvana, having always

wondered what that CD with funny and peculiar cover with the naked baby swimming

towards a dollar note sounded like. Like most young people of course, it was

'Smells Like Teen Spirit' that really grabbed my attention one day and lead to me

wanting to find out more about this band who seemed to capture the essence of being

a teenager so perfectly. 

I found my parents Nevermind CD, with that iconic front cover, and finally put it

in my CD player and listened to it. It wasn't what I was expecting, but it connected with

me, and for the next few months I had it on repeat. Something about Nirvana's music

made me feel this fierce pride at being young; it also gave me this rebellious spirit, a

sense of belonging, and a desire to go out and take the world by storm.

It changed the way I viewed myself as a teenager and how I viewed the world.

It finally felt like it was mine for the taking.

After discovering the power of Nevermind I listened to various radio programmes,

read books about Kurt and Nirvana in general and tried to find out as much as I could.

I read this one biography about Kurt in particular that really stuck with me, which covered 

his childhood right up to his death and the aftermath. To have a story to put to the face and

the voice in my eyes made Kurt an idol of sorts. 

Aside from being a symbol for teen rebellion and liberation, to me Kurt also represented

that internal struggle, that need to belong and be loved, valued, never quite feeling good enough,

and that inquisitive conquest to figure out humanity, life and people in general. 

I identified with him, and I know he wasn't perfect, and yeah Kurt didn't always make the 

best choices, but when you realise what was fuelling some of those choices, and you begin 

to piece together the sort of person he was.... it makes all the difference as to how you

perceive this now iconic cult figure. 

Kurt Cobain was far from perfect but he's one of those people who I think had

a genuinely beautiful yet delicate soul but it was damaged and ultimately destroyed by

the hardships, cruelty and obstacles of life. He wasn't strong enough to weather and overcome

the storm, but he really tried, and he achieved so much in his life despite his choosing to

end it so soon, and I respect and admire him for that. He was wise, intelligent, creative, and 

so talented and I hope he found the peace in death that always seemed to elude him in life.

And on that note, I'll end with one of my favourite quotes of Kurt's, one that really did

change things for me was this:

"wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are"

and I will always be grateful for those words because although Kurt may have

struggled with his own self acceptance, his words helped me finally accept myself.

RIP Kurt Cobain

1967-1994

NEVER FORGET, REMEMBRANCE DAY 2013

Today is the 11th of November 2013,

Remembrance Day,

and I just wanted to do a little post to

pay my respects to all the

soldiers past and present who give up and risk

their lives to save ours.

I forgot to wear my poppy today,

like the idiot I am, but I drew one on my hand

and wrote 'Never Forget', because I think that phrase

is so strong and beautiful.

I think it's wonderful how we still have our

two minute silence every year, 

almost 100 years on from the first World War.

I like how we continue to pay our respects to those who have

died for us, fought for us, risked their lives for us,

although I do think we should stop to remember

these brave people more often.

To all those who died for us during the two

World Wars, I thank you for freeing our nation, for protecting

our nation, for bravely standing up to our enemies,

ensuring that all future generations grow up in a world free of

fighting and war and oppression. 

Thank you for risking and giving your lives for us, and

to all those back home who could only stand

by and watch, thank you for your strength and courage.

And to all those who died in the succeeding wars,

and to all those fighting now,

and who have done over the last ten years, I thank you

for your courage, strength, bravery and decision

to risk your lives every day to protect us all, your dedication to fighting for what is right.

It's easy to forget that whilst you're sat at home watching TV,

or in college or school in lesson, that someone

is out there fighting for you and risking their life

for you on a almost hourly basis.

Yesterday I saw an interview on TV with a woman

who lost her husband whilst he was on tour in Afghanistan.

He was the 415th soldier to die for the UK

since the war began, and I found it so hard to

watch her talk about it, because I can't even begin

to imagine the pain she has gone through,

and her strength for allowing her husband to

go out and live his dream,do the job he loved, despite her 

fear that he may never return.

I admire anyone who has a loved one who is

out on the front line now or who has been on the front line.

I admire anyone who has been brave enough to risk their lives

for our country, past present or future.

I admire anyone who fought and returned home

severely injured and traumatized, but manages to overcome

their obstacles and live their lives to the full.

They are incredibly inspiring.

Words cannot express how thankful I am,

how thankful we all are, 

and it's hard to find the right words to say,

words that do these brave people justice,

but once a year, we join together 

and pay our respects, united as one.

And although we may be united in silence,

it's a silence that speaks a thousand words.

<3