WOAH, WHAT A ROLLERCOASTER OF A LIFE

Dear reader, 

I feel as though these last few days I have been

losing the plot.

As you may remember, I am 17 years old and as I live in

Grand Old Britannia, I have reached the point

in my life in which I have to decide just what the heck I'm going to do for the next fifty years.

It's kind of daunting to say the least.

And being someone of a highly indecisive nature,

and being someone who doesn't want to put myself out there

until I am absolutely 100% sure, the thought of

committing myself to one thing, especially

when I love so many things,

scares the crap out of me, as in,

proper heeby jeebies.

___________________________________________

And and and, to top it all off,

I am a Gemini, and Gemini's are notorious for liking

a bit of both. The curse of being born

under this star sign means that I simply cannot make up

my mind, and the thought of choosing just one thing

is double plus bad, as George Orwell's 1984 would say.

I love art, music, photography et al.

I'm a creative freak, I adore it all and have done

since I was three and began drawing kind of well for a three

year old, according to my mum.

BUT, I love science, biology, how everything works,

 I love helping people and feeling like I'm doing something positive.

I'm too caring, I get too involved, I want to feel like

I'm making a difference for someone, somewhere.

And of course I want to travel, live in

NYC, California, Sydney, Barcelona, Madrid, Lisbon,

Berlin, and yet I strangely find the city

of Sheffield, 45 mins up the road so appealing.

It's all very confusing.

And when time isn't on your side,

it's very daunting.

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I believe you only get one chance at life,

so you best do something good with it, live out your dreams,

because there won't be a next time.

It's about doing it all and having no regrets when

you pop your clogs sixty, seventy

years down the line.

You need to skid into heaven like

'woah, what a rollercoaster of a fabulous life that was'

But the problem is just how do you go about it?

If you're anything like me, you have this

ever expanding list of places to go and things to do.

But, you also want to be satisfied, happy,

want to get out of bed every morning and want to live your life.

You want a reason, a purpose,

to feel like you were meant to be here for a reason.

It's just finding that reason.

This week I've been darting from a career

in speech & language therapy, to broadcast journalism,

journalism in general and graphic design, and

back to speech & language therapy all over again.

But I think I'm starting to figure it all out,

just a little bit more now.

And although I wouldn't consider myself in the

best position to offer advice,

what I will say, is DON'T WORRY.

It doesn't help you in any way.

Don't let yourself fall into the hands of

self doubt, depression, hopelessness, 

it's a horrible place to be.

Talk to someone, moan like I've been doing for

the last three days straight.

Think about what you like to do, what you're good at,

what brings you the most pleasure and

satisfaction, what ticks the boxes,

and if it doesn't tick them all, what else can you do

to get them all ticked, what other opportunities

are there. 

And lastly, read this:

DRIVING TO COLLEGE

So the other day one of my best friends,

who unlike me, has had driving lessons and taken her test and actually has her own car (s'cuse me whilst I cry), drove us to college.

And can I just say, IT WAS AWESOME.

As in, the best feeling ever, having no parents, nagging or moaning at you, no no no, just you, and four of your best friends, cruising down the streets 

and the motorways in the morning twilight....

We had Radio One blasting out the speakers, we

went from 30 mph, to 40, 50, 60, 70 and we were

all singing and laughing and feeling

100& COOL. 

It doesn't matter that the rest of the day

was kind of crappy or that it was 8 o'clock in the morning -ay yai yai- cause with mornings like that,

who cares what the rest of the day might hold?

PERFECT SONG: MORE THAN A FEELING BY BOSTON

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MEEEEEEE

So it occurred to me this morning that I've gone on like

light speed ahead, posting pictures and rambling

on like I do when I haven't even introduced

myself to you.

And I think that's pretty important.

So hey!

My name's Tasha, or Tash, or Tee,

or whatever floats your boat, I'm 17 years and five months old and I look like this.

Or more accuratley, this:

I live in this little city called Derby

right in the middle of England and it depresses

me because it's not London or NYC or California

and is therefore not cool or worth

writing about.

-If you're a One Direction fan, you might be interested

to know that Niall supports our football team, but aside from

that minor claim to fame, like I said

it ain't worth talking about.

I study four A Levels (gasp, shock horror, how has she not had a cataclysmic brain meltdown yet) and they are

Art, English Lit, Spanish and Biology.

I write a music blog called Tee Pot Music which never

seems to come up on Google, and I have an art

business thing called Bluboca, where I sell some of my art drawings and that (I might tell you about it soon) and I've made exactly 40p, enough to buy two Freddo's. 

GOOD TIMES.

I volunteer at Oxfam, Stroke Association

and with autistic children, I used to work as a dishwasher,
I want to go to university...

LIKES

art, music, arctic monkeys, cake, reading,

starry nights, london, nyc, travelling, vw camper vans,

polaroids, vintage cameras, love, friends, family,

laughing, singing when no-one is home, 

my guitar, writing, tea (obvs- I'm British), nme magazine,

colours, devon, alex turner, big bang theory, dancing in the rain.... 

DISLIKES
mean people, smoking (it's the smell), mushrooms,

having cold hands, homework, super large spiders, cleaning my room erm.... can't think of much else, even though

I complain practically all the time.

So yeah....

A BIT BOUT ME.

What about you?

Leave me a comment (:

BE YOU

oi you, just remember this,

you're BEAUTIFUL/ WONDERFUL/ AMAZING

just the way you are*.

don't go around comparing yourself or thinking you're not 

good enough, because you are.

it doesn't matter if you don't look like Cara or

Kate or Miranda or Alexa or whoever, 

it doesn't matter if you're curvy or staight up

straight down, 

YOU ARE PERFECT.

don't be anyone else,

be you, because you, my friend

are 

*Mr Mars knows what he's on about.

(my illustration- you can get it on my redubble.com/bluboca store I know I'm plugging myself big time)