GIRL CRUSH: NINA NESBITT

It's Girl Crush time, and today's

nominee is the gorgeous Scottish/ Swedish

beauty that is, Nina Nesbitt.

Nina can sing, she writes her own beautiful songs,

she has the cutest name, the most insanely amazing hair, 

perfect fashion sense, great bone structure... 

AND, she's super nice.

She literally has it all, and it's just not fair.

Her debut album Peroxide is out tomorrow and you should

defo defo defo buy it, because this lady is literally

the female Ed Sheeran. 

Now lets just make ourselves cry at how amazing she is.

APPLE TREE

BOY

STAY OUT

BABYLON

SELFIES

NOSERINGS AND SHOESTRINGS

WEBSITE: http://www.ninanesbittmusic.com/

IT WILL BE OKAY

Today I write to you from a clearer, and much brighter

point of view than I have done all week.

I've ridden a roller coaster of emotions and

made it out at the other end.

In all fairness, it is my time of the month,

(my chin is resembling the Himalayas again- it's just that

spotty) and that might have had something

to do with it.

I deleted all the other posts anyway, because

I think they were meant to be written and posted and then deleted.

If you missed all the hullabaloo, basically, as you can

probably guess, it involved a boy, and 

it all went a bit heads up, or maybe it didn't, I don't know,

my hormones have been crazy.

So although it felt like I knew, maybe I didn't,

maybe I jumped to conclusions too soon

and didn't give him a fair chance.

But either way, I know why I reacted so bad,

and it wasn't his fault. He didn't do anything wrong, and neither

did I. The only thing I slipped up on, was

falling prey to my old habits and for being too harsh on myself.

Confession time- I've never had a boyfriend before, or

been kissed, or anything else, only been hugged, and

when you're six months away from 18, you start to think something

is going really wrong here.

I know why I've never had a boyfriend or done those things,

and I think my reasons are completely understandable, but I'm

afraid others won't see it that way.

One of the main problems is I fall for the wrong people

time and time over, and I make the same mistakes time and time over.

I think it all stems back from the first guy I ever fell for,

but I don't want to be making those same mistakes

six years later. 

I want and need change.

I always lose out, always, so when I thought I'd gotten everything

all wrong with this new guy, who is very different

to all the other guys and a step in the right direction for me,

it all just got on top of me.

I hold my hands up, I cried about it, because I thought

right back to the very first guy, and worked my way forward to the present day, and all I could see was this pattern continuously

repeating itself.

All I wanted to do was close my heart, be cold and unreachable so that

I don't get hurt again, but at the same time,

I really don't want to end up alone, I don't want to be cold

and end up hating love.

So what do I do?

Well yes, I need change, and what I decided, once I'd got back 

on my feet again, was this:

It's early days with this guy, and yes maybe we aren't

meant to be that way at all, or maybe

we are but not right now.

I don't know, he doesn't know, nobody knows.

And yes I can run away like I always do when there's any doubt

or uncertainty of anything happening at all.

But the fact is, I like this guy.

I like his company, so why should I let that go, when I don't need to?

I don't need to be unhappy or put myself down.

He may not be in my life as anything more serious,

but he is in my life as a friend. And we can just be friends,

two people who get on really well, and 

that sounds good to me.

And for the mean time I'm just going to focus on me,

getting the grades to get to university, finding a job, making

sure I'm just happy in myself.

And this will continue to grow on the side - I have to sit next

to him all year anyway- and maybe we will finish the year

as good friends, maybe just friends,

or maybe something will change and we will become more.

I don't know, but I can't keep over thinking and worrying

and putting myself down and doing this to myself.

I need to be a bit nicer to myself,

and whatever may happen, that is okay,

everything will be 

OKAY 

(:

AN HOUR WITH YOU...

I just drew this little

cutie on my graphics tablet,

and I wanted to share it with you, my lovely

readers, wherever you may be.

It's inspired by a certain someone, yes,

however their identity shall

remain a secret for now.

But if you've read some of my earlier posts,

you might be able to guess who...

And for me, the person I like to

spend my hours with is someone who makes

me laugh, who I can talk

to about anything and everything,

who I am 100% myself with,

and who makes my life 

just a little bit brighter than it 

ever was before.

I never know just what we will talk about,

or what will happen when

we are brought together, 

we can talk about anything from

our dreams, our likes, our favourites.

And we never seem to stop.

And I know that when I walk away I

am smiling, and I am happy, and when I am with

this person, I feel exactly the same.

I crave their company,

I look forward to seeing this person,

I look forward to hearing just what tales they have to

say, I like being near them,

close to them.

I wouldn't say I'm in love with this person,

but I feel myself falling just

a little bit each time I am with them, and one day

 in the future I will look at this person

and realise I have fallen in love with everything

they are and everything they are not

without even realising it.

But then again, if fate has other plans,

and we just simply remain friends, I will also be happy 

because having this person somewhere in my life

 is all that matters.

You can't buy that connection,

it's either there or it's not, and whether it be friendship

 or love, you must never let it go.

<3

THE BEGINNING

So this post is kind of to do with love...

I'm kind of inviting you into the goings on in my heart.

Y'see, for the last year I've had a crush on

this guy at my college who just

happens to be an aspiring musician (ie. right up my street).

And obviously at the beginning

it was lovely and perfect and you have

every hope in the world. You're both looking at each

other all the time and thinking this could

really go somewhere and believing it really will.

But the problem was, we had no chance.

We were never introduced, we had no mutual friends or classes,

nothing nothing nothing, both shy, both a little awkward,

and the bottom line is, no matter how much

you convince yourself you do,

you don't really know each other.

And without that essential little component,

nothing can happen.

And as time went on, I wanted more, I wanted to find someone

who I actually spoke to and who made me feel like

something could really truly happen.

And so my feelings slowly burned less brightly,

and I didn't like him like I once did.

It was like hitting a brick wall again and again

and I knew things had to change,

no matter how lovely I thought he was.

And for the record, I still think

he's a lovely person- he's in my form now and

he makes me laugh, which I like (:

But the other day, something happened, and I found

that the loyalties of my heart kind of swapped.

And I closed the door on him.

And someone else kind of kicked open another...

Y'see, the last month or two

I've got to know this guy in one of my classes.
We sit next to each other, and I never dreamed I would get

on with him. But but but, we literally

get on like a house on fire.

It's kind of hard to learn when I'm sat

next to him because he always makes me laugh,

and I always make him laugh,

and we just get on so well and it's lovely

because I've never had that before.

I forget everyone else is there when I'm with him,

it's like it's just me an him, laughing away,

as usual, much to the annoyance

of my teacher.

Now I wouldn't say I fancy him,

but I would say that I have this affection towards him

that slowly gets a little stronger

every time I'm with him, and again,I've

never had anything like that before.

And sometimes I don't know if

he's feeling it too. Last lesson there was a moment

where I definitely felt like he might be, 

but I can't be sure, and I don't

want to rush or assume or mess it up,

because I love just knowing him and chatting to him.

So as I finish this awfully

long post off, I'll say that for me,

one thing came to an end, but, it

coincided with the beginning of another,

and I don't know what might happen,

but what I can say,

is I'm so, so happy I've found him.

<3