500 DAYS OF SUMMER

I can't remember how I found out about

500 Days of Summer because I certainly didn't watch it when 

it came out in cinemas five years ago (FIVE YEARS AGO!!) in 2009.

But I remember reading about it on Wiki, as I always do with

films I like or am interested in watching, and when I saw

the date 23rd May in the synopsis, which is when Tom meets 

Autumn and the date of my birthday, I was like, this is fate.

I really need to watch this film ASAP.

And when that DVD finally came into my ownership, it 

didn't let me down.

_____________________________________

This is one of those films that is right up my street.

It's kind of arty and indie but in a good way, the right way,

and it never fails to make me feel good. 

It's the characters, the unique story line, the funny narrator,

the setting, the music, the way it makes me love life...

It makes me laugh, it makes me want to cry, it makes me want 

to go to Ikea and pretend I live there (which I actually have done). 

I want to go to record stores and movies and live in LA and go to 

that park hidden away in the city, and basically just have a cute 

relationship like Summer & Tom.

Oh and not to mention, it makes me want to be Zooey

Deschanel and have her gorgeous hair and style and singing voice. Seriously I was watching the movie again yesterday and 

I was so tempted to just cut my hair

like hers, even though it would not suit me at all.

So yes, I adore this film, it's one of a kind and it's

perfect and I will probably still be watching this when I'm

well past my best before date.

________________________________________

Here are some cute pics I found from the film... (:

<3

HELLO VALENTINES DAY

As you're probably more than aware, tomorrow is

Valentines Day, and as is always the case with me,

I don't have a Valentine.

My Nan & Grandad took pity on me this year and

sent me an 'anonymous' card in the post (LOL LOL
LOL LOL) and bought me chocolates to make

me feel better (which I can't stop eating).

I have to say, from my first ever experience of receiving

an 'anonymous' card, I ruddy hate it because I don't

like not knowing who sent it me.

Does my absolute NUT in. 

As soon as I opened my card I was straight on the phone 

to my Nan & Grandad,interrogating them for five minutes 

straight until they finally gave in and admitted it 

was them.

Of course I then said they could do better aka. give me 

more chocolates next time plz. 

But back to the matter, this year is the first

year EVER where nearly all my friends have boyfriends and

whatevs', and they're all getting cooked for or taken

out and getting more chocolates than me & all that jazz.

I of course am single as always, but today I've

been thinking things through and realised that I haven't

really met anyone who 'floats my boat' yet, or basically

I like/ love enough to want him to be my boyfriend.

And I'm actually strangely excited, once again, at the 

thought of being a single lady (ooh er).

And as for Valentines Day, well I can't say it

matters that much to me any more. It's a cute idea but
me being me, I always expected some guy to come out of 

the shadows and proclaim his love for me on that one 

specific day every year, and that we would live happily 

ever after, which of course never ever ever EVER 

happened. 

So this year, I'm spending the day with one of my lovely 

single friends and weirdly enough, one of my friends who

is in a relationship, and who was moaning to me last year

about being single still (bless her), because she 'didn't 

want to be left out' and 'miss out on all the fun' (hah)

I think we're going to go mini golf in Nottingham

or stay in and watch movies and eat chocolates and

be like 'woo hoo, single lyf 4 da win'.

Either way, it's a vast improvement on last year

when I got locked inside a toilet in Spain and

had to be rescued by a hunky Spanish man in front

of my entire Spanish class plus some Spanish people 

too ;)

Happy Valentines Day to you all!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Today my Nana & Grandad came round for dinner and we got

talking and one of the things we got talking about earlier

was a man my Nana used to date when she was younger.

Now I'm a big believer that everything happens for a 

reason, and my belief in this is something that I know

for a fact will never change. To me it just seems so

logical and what my Nana told me made me believe it

even more ( if that was possible)and this is the story...

So my Nana is Spanish, and she grew up in Spain

just after the Civil War. When she was a young woman

in the 1950's, she fell in love with a man from her 

village. He was called Alejandro and they were completely 

and utterly smitten with one another.

They were together for three years and everyone in the

village was certain that they were going to get married.

It all seemed so perfect for my beautiful Nana and the

handsome and lovely Alejandro, but sadly tragedy struck.

One day my Nana said goodbye to Alejandro and he said

he'd see her two days later, but he never made it.

Alejandro was involved in a car crash with his friends

and sadly it took his life. He was the only one not to 

survive. It makes me feel sad just thinking about it,

fifty years or so later, and for my Nana, it was

absolutely devastating -she had to wipe away tears 

as she told me. It broke her heart, she didn't

eat for days, she was so lost without him, and

it had come so out of the blue when it seemed like

nothing could go wrong.

And of course I understand how tragic it was as he

was so young and in love with his whole life ahead of

him, and Alejandro must've been the most loveliest guy,

judging by the way my Nana still speaks about him.

But the thing is, if he hadn't died on that day,

it's almost certain that my Nana would have married him

and she never would have moved to London, which

she did to try to overcome her broken heart, and most

importantly, she never would have met my Grandad. 

Even when she was in London, on the day she met my

Grandad at a dance hall somewhere in the city, she

was so close to going to meet another man next to

Victoria Station. I find it so strange to think that if

Alejandro hadn't died, or she had gone to meet

that other man instead of my Grandad, as a consequence

9 people including myself wouldn't be here, and who

knows who would be here in our place?

All of our lives were dependent on both the death

of a young man and a split decision that my Nana made 

without knowing at all what would happen as a result, 

not to mention the other decisions that our parents

and grandparents made and events that happened in between.

And when I think of the members of my family

and what they've achieved, all the lives that have

stemmed from my Nana and those before her, it feels

like we were meant to be here for a reason. 

It feels like everything that happened was meant to 

happen for a reason. In this case of Alejandro it's

so tragic, and I wish he hadn't died, but at the same

time maybe he was meant to die, because in losing one

life, nine more were made possible.

And I think that's pretty incredible.

And I can think of so many more examples of why 

everything must surely happen for a reason, but I think

that this is such a powerful example and I hope

you agree too :)

THE ONLY SINGLE FRIEND

As of now, I am the only

single friend out of my immediate friendship group.

Wahey. It happened. The day finally came.

So if you're a single guy, and you see me and my friends walking down the street together, I'm afraid your only option

is me, the girl who probably just walked into a lamp post

or trod in a nice big pile of dog crap.

LUCKY YOU.

For some reason this occasion feels quite momentous

yet I don't think it's properly sunk in yet what this

actually means. 

I knew it was going to happen; it was, as Tinie Tempah

would say, 'written in the stars', inevitable, and I don't mind

because out of all my friends, I'm probably

the one who is least fussed about being single and

definitely the most boy impaired.

It's only been this last year or so that I've got

comfortable just talking to boys and that I've actually begun

doing something along the lines of flirting.

I know this to be true because a guy I sit next to 

in class wanted to ask me something, but I was 

talking with this other guy who I get on really well

with, and he was like "will you two stop flirting"

and I went bright red. So there.

I can flirt and look like a human tomato

AT THE SAME TIME. 

Beat that.

Now as you may recall me previously saying, I have been

single all my life so I am completely clueless as to what it's

like to be in a relationship or be kissed or whatever.

One friend is so used to me being single that

when she listed all her single friends that she wanted to hook up

with her new boyfriend's fit friends, she completely forgot

about me.

Ay caramba.

I can't say I mind though, because to me,

going out on a date with someone I haven't met before

scares the heeby jeebies out of me, and 

knowing me, I'd probably do my Marge Simpson impression

or something weird (cool) like that in an attempt to 

seem impressive and attractive and alluring.

So where does all this leave me?

Well it leaves me single, yes, but

that doesn't mean I'm not happy, or that I feel like

I need to find some poor guy quick and force him to be

my one and only so that I'm not the odd one out.

If you embrace being single, you can have a

of a time.

Because the way I see it is this: I'm happy,

I am free, I live for me,  I love my life, I do whatever 

I want, when I want, I love myself for who I am,

 I'm confident in myself, I'm independent, strong,

I can stand up for myself, I've got my friends and family

and lastly, I can flirt( and imitate tomatoes)with 

whoever I want.

SO

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I RUDDY LOVE IT.

SORT OF KIND OF DOING A BEYONCE WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE

When I think of the personification of a strong, independent, feisty 

woman, I almost always think of the fabulous 

Beyonce Knowles.

To me, this woman is the definition of female

empowerment, and as of today, as the title says, I'm sort of kind

of doing a Beyonce myself and following in her footsteps 

and adopting her mantra when it comes to love.

Because you see, dear reader, lately something

inside me has changed.

I didn't notice this had changed until the last few weeks

it sort of hit me wham bam and I was just like

'what de.... when deed dees happen?'

And I'll tell you about it now.

For as long as I can remember being a fluorescent adolescent,

I have always had crushes and always always

always wanted a boyfriend and a super cute relationship and

yaddah yaddah yah.

Even earlier this year I was yearning for it,

and I always seemed to feel insecure because I didn't have

a boyfriend. I felt incomplete, like something was missing.

I felt frustrated that I didn't have what my

friends had, and that I could never seem to find love or a

boyfriend. 

It was like I deemed myself inadequate until

I found my match.

The thought of being the only girl in my friendship group

without a boyfriend scared the crap out of me.

The thought of never finding a boyfriend till university

made me want to cry up to the heavens to get

God himself to come down here and reason with me

as to why I couldn't have one sooner.

But then..... at some point this month,

something changed.

This longing, this insecurity, this need, this desire,

this sadness, this frustration, this wanting, this caring, it all

just disappeared, went right out the window.

And I suddenly realised that the fact of the matter was,

I DIDN'T CARE.

About boys, love, any of it.

And for me that's a pretty big thing.

And what I mean by not caring is this:

1) I don't care that I don't have a boyfriend.

2) I don't care that it's not working out with anyone I do meet.

3) I don't care that my friends have boyfriends and dates

and I don't; I don't feel any less than them or

like I'm missing out.

-How can I miss something I've never had or experienced?

4) In a typical British sentiment I quite simply cannot be

arsed to stress over this anymore.

Q) Who cares?
A) Not me! (finally)

I'm not yearning for love and romance and relationships and boys.

I literally do not care.

Today I decided it was the right time to hold my hands

up and surrender, admit it's not working, it's not my time or my

moment, and take a step back out of the game.

I read somewhere that sometimes you need to give in and accept

defeat in order for better things to come together.

And that's what I'm doing. 

I'm not walking away with or out of shame or defeat or weakness,

I'm walking away because I realised actually I'm happy on my own.

And this is where the whole Beyonce bit comes in.

I realised that I have never felt as strong, independent or

mentally and emotionally well as I do right now.

To use another British sentiment, I feel BLOODY FANTASTIC, and 

if there was anytime that I felt I was ready

to stand proud on my own two feet, it's now.

I can handle being single.

I don't feel like I need anyone to complete me or support me,

and I'm actually kind of glad I haven't met the right person yet and

that it hasn't worked at all for me yet.

Having said that, I know I'm on this love sabbatical and all that,

but if the right person happened to pop up and say hi,

or if my dream way to fall in love happens, where I see

a stranger across a room and I just know right there and then

that he is the one, then that again is BLOODY FANTASTIC.

But until that moment comes,

I bid you farewell tonight as a girl on the brink

of womanhood who is feeling single and proud and pretty alright

and just a little bit sassy, if I must admit it.

And if I can make it to this stage,

then I'm pretty sure you can too.

Don't be afraid to walk alone and don't be afraid to like it <3

AN HOUR WITH YOU...

I just drew this little

cutie on my graphics tablet,

and I wanted to share it with you, my lovely

readers, wherever you may be.

It's inspired by a certain someone, yes,

however their identity shall

remain a secret for now.

But if you've read some of my earlier posts,

you might be able to guess who...

And for me, the person I like to

spend my hours with is someone who makes

me laugh, who I can talk

to about anything and everything,

who I am 100% myself with,

and who makes my life 

just a little bit brighter than it 

ever was before.

I never know just what we will talk about,

or what will happen when

we are brought together, 

we can talk about anything from

our dreams, our likes, our favourites.

And we never seem to stop.

And I know that when I walk away I

am smiling, and I am happy, and when I am with

this person, I feel exactly the same.

I crave their company,

I look forward to seeing this person,

I look forward to hearing just what tales they have to

say, I like being near them,

close to them.

I wouldn't say I'm in love with this person,

but I feel myself falling just

a little bit each time I am with them, and one day

 in the future I will look at this person

and realise I have fallen in love with everything

they are and everything they are not

without even realising it.

But then again, if fate has other plans,

and we just simply remain friends, I will also be happy 

because having this person somewhere in my life

 is all that matters.

You can't buy that connection,

it's either there or it's not, and whether it be friendship

 or love, you must never let it go.

<3