THE BEGINNING

So this post is kind of to do with love...

I'm kind of inviting you into the goings on in my heart.

Y'see, for the last year I've had a crush on

this guy at my college who just

happens to be an aspiring musician (ie. right up my street).

And obviously at the beginning

it was lovely and perfect and you have

every hope in the world. You're both looking at each

other all the time and thinking this could

really go somewhere and believing it really will.

But the problem was, we had no chance.

We were never introduced, we had no mutual friends or classes,

nothing nothing nothing, both shy, both a little awkward,

and the bottom line is, no matter how much

you convince yourself you do,

you don't really know each other.

And without that essential little component,

nothing can happen.

And as time went on, I wanted more, I wanted to find someone

who I actually spoke to and who made me feel like

something could really truly happen.

And so my feelings slowly burned less brightly,

and I didn't like him like I once did.

It was like hitting a brick wall again and again

and I knew things had to change,

no matter how lovely I thought he was.

And for the record, I still think

he's a lovely person- he's in my form now and

he makes me laugh, which I like (:

But the other day, something happened, and I found

that the loyalties of my heart kind of swapped.

And I closed the door on him.

And someone else kind of kicked open another...

Y'see, the last month or two

I've got to know this guy in one of my classes.
We sit next to each other, and I never dreamed I would get

on with him. But but but, we literally

get on like a house on fire.

It's kind of hard to learn when I'm sat

next to him because he always makes me laugh,

and I always make him laugh,

and we just get on so well and it's lovely

because I've never had that before.

I forget everyone else is there when I'm with him,

it's like it's just me an him, laughing away,

as usual, much to the annoyance

of my teacher.

Now I wouldn't say I fancy him,

but I would say that I have this affection towards him

that slowly gets a little stronger

every time I'm with him, and again,I've

never had anything like that before.

And sometimes I don't know if

he's feeling it too. Last lesson there was a moment

where I definitely felt like he might be, 

but I can't be sure, and I don't

want to rush or assume or mess it up,

because I love just knowing him and chatting to him.

So as I finish this awfully

long post off, I'll say that for me,

one thing came to an end, but, it

coincided with the beginning of another,

and I don't know what might happen,

but what I can say,

is I'm so, so happy I've found him.

<3